Welcome back to all my thoughts on Cassandra Clare’s Clockwork Princess. In Part 1, I covered how the side characters gave me main character energy, my disappointment in Mortmain as the villain, how Magnus Bane changed the course of his life by befriending William Herondale and why Heronstairs is the superior relationship. This part is mostly going to include me crying over Will Herondale, Jem Carstairs and Tessa Gray, while connecting some the dots between The Infernal Devices and The Mortal Instruments. Grab some tissues ‘cause I’m about to get real emotional.
Here are the rest of my thoughts on Clockwork Princess.
Love & Pain
“How could three people who cared for one another so much cause one another so much pain?”
Tessa, 181
This one quote is practically a summary for this entire series. There’s so much love between Will, Jem and Tessa that it’s causing a tremendous amount of physical and mental pain. Also, the amount of angst is astonishing. There were moments I forgot that these were technically teenagers, and then there were times that all I wanted was to go back in time, crank up Fall for You by SecondHand Serenade and give these three access to Tumblr.
Prime example is this:
“I want you to be happy, and him to be happy. And yet when you walk that aisle to meet him and join yourselves forever you will walk an invisible path of the shards of my heart, Tessa. I would give over my own life for either of yours. I would give over my own life for your happiness.”
Will, Page 201
The girl is already conflicted, Will. If you have no intent on breaking your parabatai’s heart by convincing him to end his engagement, then we need to keep these angsty thoughts away from Tessa and direct them toward Magnus.
It’s not all pain, thankfully. We get so many sweet moments between Jem and Tessa that made my heart flutter. Jem is quiet, a soft and kind soul. He’s also unbelievably awkward and thinks as if he can’t possibly say the right thing but then says shit like this that makes me swoon.
“Our hearts, they need a mirror, Tessa. We see our better selves in the eyes of those who love us. And there is beauty that brevity alone provides. I would give you everything of myself. I would give you more in two weeks than most men would give you in a lifetime.”
Jem to Tessa, Page 193
I’d marry Jem that second if he said that to me. (Sorry, Matt.) Jem clearly loves Tessa with every inch of his soul. He would say the cutest things in Mandarin, and then smile as Tessa slowly put together what he said. It is a small gesture to learn Jem’s native language, but the effort showed how much she loved him in return. It was seriously so adorable.
However, Tessa’s heart is not solely on Jem.
“Most people are lucky to have even one great love in their life. You have found two.”
Woolsey Scott to Tessa, Page 125
Just as Jem and Will love Tessa and each other, Tessa has fallen for both of these boys.
Tessa and Will tried to set their feelings aside, but they became closer as they both searched for ways to prevent Jem’s death. The scene where Will throws his arms around Tessa on Woolsey’s doorstep is so incredibly painful. Will has always held out hope that he could at least delay Jem’s death, but now he is out of options, Jem is on his deathbed and Tessa is the only other person who fully understands the depth of grief he’s experiencing. As he so often leaned on Jem, Will has decided to let his walls down to allow himself to lean on Tessa. Tessa knows that Jem would want her to comfort Will as he would have, so she wraps her arms around him, as well. It’s the starting point of Will and Tessa accepting the feelings they have for each other, though they still keep it a secret from Jem.
That is until the biggest ‘oh shit’ moment in history happens when Jem overhears Magnus asking Will if he has told his parabatai about his feelings for Tessa. As Will is repeating the Shadowhunter goodbye, Jem grabs his wrist and rocks his world.
Jem, Page 240
“I am not dead yet, Will.”
I’m not going to lie, I really wanted to see Jem angry at this. Your best friend loves your fiancée, you’re allowed to be a little pissed. Instead, Jem is his usual forgiving and understanding self. What a shame. He does seem a bit hurt as he asks Will if Tessa loved him back and then is relieved when his parabatai confirms that it was Jem that Tessa gave her heart to. Jem is too good of a man. As I mentioned above, Jem is thankful that Will feels the way he does because it makes it easier for him to ask his parabatai to leave his deathbed to rescue Tessa and take care of her heart when he no longer can.
Boy, does Will just take that blessing and run with it. I’m kidding … kind of.
Of course our dashing hero finds the beautiful maiden (who is anything but helpless); however, in his race to save her, he gets stuck in the invisible shield room with her. Believing Jem has died and Will is doomed to a similar fate at the hands of Mortmain, both Will and Tessa are drowning in sorrow and misery. They comfort each other first with reassurances that there was nothing either of them could have done, that it wasn’t anybody’s fault that he is lost and that their short time with him was better than if they had never met at all. Then, they find comfort in each other, that they can share the burden of grief and perhaps find relief in having the other to understand.
“You are like me. You say the things I think but never say out loud. You read the books I read. You love the poetry I love. You make me laugh with your ridiculous songs and the way you see the truth of everything. I feel like you can look inside me and see all the places I am odd or unusual and fit your heart around them, for you are odd and unusual in just the same way. We are the same.”
“Don’t say those things, Tessa. Don’t say them.”
“Why not?”
“You said I am a good man. But I am not that good a man. And I am — I am catastrophically in love with you.”
Will Tessa, Page 416
At first, I was a little troubled that these two would shack up so quickly after losing Jem. My boy does not deserve that disrespect. Then, I realized that they were not thinking clearly. They were absolutely taken over by grief and despair and felt that pleasure in each other could mask the pain.
“For this I would have been damned forever. For this I would have given up everything.”
Will to Tessa, Page 421
Plus, Magnus finding them in bed together made me laugh so hard. It’s honestly the best case scenario. It’s better Magnus found them rather than Gabriel. Will would never live it down.
Something I did love about this moment was how Tessa took control of her life and body. She may have been Jem’s fiancé, but she is not property to be owned. She knew there was a chance that she would be forced to live the remainder of her life as a surrogate for the Magister’s plan at a new master race, and she wanted the opportunity to experience this intimate love with somebody she genuinely cared for before it was taken away. In this house we stan strong, confident, independent women.
This does make things super awkward when Will and Tessa discover that Jem is not dead after all. Tessa even tries to tell Jem about what happened when Brother Zachariah arrives at the Institute to officially end their engagement and sever his last remaining tie to mortality. Jem shuts the conversation down real quick by saying that there’s nothing they could do that would change his feelings for them, which I appreciated. He doesn’t need to know the details.
“Did you love me?”
“Yes. I loved you. I love you still. I love Will, too. I cannot explain it. I didn’t know it when I agreed to marry you. I loved you, I still love you, I never loved you less for all that I love him.”
Jem & Tessa, Page 500
This meeting between Jem and Tessa also made me weep. I hated how Tessa, and later Will, immediately noticed that Jem was different. So quickly he was transformed into a near stranger to those who love him most. Despite Silent Brothers not feeling so deeply, this notion pains Jem. He no longer feels human, something Tessa understands well. Just as Jem had comforted Tessa when she confided those same doubts, she is there to remind him that he may be different but he’s still human in the ways that matter.
Jem’s reasoning for becoming a Silent Brother is also heartbreaking. This one quote completely unraveled me.
“I had no choice. You were gone, and in my stead Will had gone after you. I did not fear death, but I feared deserting you both. This, then, was my only recourse. To live, to stand and fight.”
Jem to Tessa, Page 496
Jem robbed himself of death and of another life on the wheel, because he loved Will and Tessa too much to leave them behind. Because of this, I was so happy to read in the epilogue how Will and Tessa managed to find a way to keep Jem in their lives. They named their first son James, and Brother Zachariah performed the protection ceremony on the boy because Will would not allow any other Silent Brother to do so. We only get one instance where Jem sat by Will’s side when he was injured, but I can guarantee that Will and Tessa would make up any excuse to summon their favorite Silent Brother. Also, I appreciate that Brother Zachariah is like other Silent Brothers. He’s ✨different✨.
In short, this is how you write a love triangle. There is no animosity or jealousy, there is only love.
“They say you cannot love two people equally at once. And perhaps for others that is so. But you and Will — you are not like two ordinary people, two people who might have been jealous of each other, or who would have imagined my love for one of them diminished by my love of the other. You merged your souls when you were both children. I could not have loved Will so much if I had not loved you as well. And I could not love you as I do if I had not loved Will as I did.”
Tessa to Jem, Page 565
The EPILOGUE
Oof. Of course I sobbed my way through the epilogue. At first I tried to remain strong, but at the mention of “holy water and blood,” I completely caved in on myself.
In hindsight, the epilogue of Clockwork Princess gave readers a happy ending. It’s all one can ask for their beloved hero to live a long and full life surrounded by unconditional love before peacefully leaving the realm of the living. However, it felt as if William Herondale still deserved better. How does a wild young man so full of life and passion simply grow old and die?
In a way, it would have been easier for Will to meet a violent end much sooner. Then we could blame a monster, some demon or any villainous soul for his tragic loss. Instead, there’s no blame to place on anyone or anything except that it’s the human condition to live and to die.
Actually, my heart would’ve been broken either way.
I think it hurt so much because I also met my husband when we were just 16 and got married last October. For almost nine years now, I never had to experience life alone, even when we lived hours apart. Not to get too deep and sappy on you guys, but my biggest fear is walking this world without him by my side, and I’m not even immortal (that I know of). To experience the loss of Will through Tessa’s memories was devastating. It felt deeply personal.
Then, to have her see Jem, not Brother Zachariah, show up on Blackfriars Bridge for their yearly meeting … It was all too much. This is technically another happy ending. Jem is no longer bound to the Silent Brothers, and he is now healthy and able to live a life as he should have a hundred years prior. Plus, Tessa doesn’t have to choose between the two men she loved most. She gets to have a life with both, even though she will once again be broken when Jem’s life comes to an end.
“Jem was mortal now. He would grow old like Will, and like Will he would die, and she did not know if she could bear it again.”
Tessa, Page 563
Tessa has to be the strongest character in any Cassandra Clare book. She knows the risks, knows the suffering that it will lead to, and, yet, she knows that to live out Jem’s life with him is better than never experiencing the world with him. She’s willing to have her heart shattered for the happiness of spending the remainder of Jem’s life by his side. Tessa and Jem have lived over 130 years, endured some of the worst the world has to offer, grown and changed, but still always came back to the other because of the love they shared.
“At last, the wheel comes full circle.”
Page 569
Side note! Tessa consistently puts her life into her own hands. Sometimes female leads in books are pushed forward by the male characters around them. It never felt that way with Tessa, Will and Jem. Over the course of TID, they faced challenges as equals — even when Will and Jem desperately wanted Tessa to stay out of danger.
From attempting to escape the Dark House on her own in Clockwork Angel to her throwing herself out of the carriage in CP2 to flee her kidnappers, Tessa has always found a way to at least try to take hold of her destiny. Even when Will finds Tessa at Carair Idris, he doesn’t save her, he simply gets trapped also.
Once again, it doesn’t feel like enough for Jem and Tessa. It still feels like a tragedy despite the hope and happiness that seeing Tessa and Jem finally together brings. Jem will still die, and, when he does, he will be reunited with Will at the bank of the great river or at the turn of the wheel, but Tessa will be alive and alone.
A true happy ending would be Tessa, Will and Jem all alive and together … for eternity. How do we make this happen, Cassandra Clare?
Side note! Knowing of the pain that Will’s death brought Tessa, puts in perspective why Magnus was so reluctant to give his heart over to Alexander Lightwood. Magnus had held onto Tessa on the nights she awakened with screams for Will. He had helped her pick up the pieces of the heart and realized that it simply couldn’t be put back together. How could he subject himself to the same fate?
Series’ ending epilogues are usually cringey and disappointing. I don’t want a five-year flash forward of the main characters getting married or watching their kids play in a field. I want what Clockwork Princess gave us. I want a character sharing memories of long lives that make you laugh through weeps. It doesn’t have to be a long, intricate story following the hero’s journey. Just give us the highlights that help bring the story full circle.
Clockwork Princess provided the perfect epilogue. It gives us just enough details about the life that Will and Tessa shared without being too much or leaving readers with too many questions. Plus, Clare gives a glimpse of the future full of hope that still manages to hurt. It’s comforting while being anything but comforting. Does that make sense? Sorry, I’m still sobbing.
Side note! Another moment that made me cry in the epilogue was when Jem told Tessa that, even though he was mortal now, he couldn’t bear to be a Shadowhunter without Will by his side. It punched me straight in the heart.
“I don’t know how to live in the world as a Shadowhunter without Will. I don’t think I even want to. I am still a parabatai, but my other half is gone. If I were to go to some Institute and ask them to take me in, I would never forget that. I would never feel whole.”
Jem to Tessa, Page 560
I do have some questions about this. One being, if Jem no longer wants to live as a Shadowhunter, will he be stripped of his Marks or will they make an exception since he served so many years as a Silent Brother? I want him to be sort of retired and having the best time exploring the world with Tessa, but still be a badass who can most definitely fight if needed. I feel like stripping Jem of his Marks would be a disservice to the Nephilim. Jem is a sweet soul who I couldn’t imagine not helping people in need. He could be like a Silent Brother without all the cult stuff.
I’ve Connected the Dots. You didn’t connect shit.
It seems as though debts are never fully paid in the Shadow World. Instead, they stand for generations, with entire families believing they forever owe another for an act that they never knew or was forgotten.
In City of Heavenly Fire, we learn that Tessa and Brother Zachariah are the ones who performed the protection ritual on baby Clary to ensure her safety from demons. Now, I can’t help but imagine Tessa opening her door to Jocelyn Fairchild, with a baby in her arms and desperation framing her face, and remembering the sweet gentleness of Charlotte who fiercely loved and protected so many children who weren’t even her own blood. And who else would understand the loyalty to the Fairchilds other than Jem? To perform the ceremony in secret and protect an innocent child was a small price to pay for a debt mounted over a hundred years in the past.
Brother Zachariah being Jem Carstairs also made me realize how symbolic it truly was that Jace Herondale was the one to free him of his duty as a Silent Brother. Jem even jokes about it with Jace. Of course a Herondale is the one to bring him salvation. After all, it had been a Herondale that kept him alive for so many years when the yin fen was slowly killing him. Equally, this makes me understand why Brother Zachariah was so set on protecting what he thought was the last of the Herondale line. He still felt he owed the Herondale family for the love and brotherhood that Will had given him.
Jem also protects Emma Carstairs and the Blackthorn children during the Dark War by leading them to the Accords Hall when Sebastian’s forces attacked Alicante.
In fact, little Emma remembered in CoHF that her father had wanted to meet Jace because he said the Carstairs owe the Herondales. This debt is what leads her to sneak into the Inquisitor’s house and warn Jace and the gang about the Clave and her theory on Edom. With that information, Jace had let Emma know that it was now the Herondales who owe the Carstairs.
I feel like this is how it’s always been since Jem and Will met. They have been trading off the repayments of imaginary debts between families for decades upon decades until John Carstairs watched as Stephen Herondale was killed and his wife took her own life along with their unborn child, supposedly ending the Herondale bloodline and leaving a debt that could never be repaid.
This all makes me understand why Jem wanted to keep an eye on Emma, as well. She must be related to him somehow, and he wants to be there for her. It’s all making sense.
Also, I wonder if Tessa’s heart skipped a beat when she saw Alec for the first time. Did she take one look at the boy with black hair and startling blue eyes and immediately get transported back in time to her Will as Magnus had? Did Alec perhaps remind her of the exact shade of blue that Will’s eyes were after believing that she had forgotten? Did Jem and Magnus tell Tessa of Jace’s fierce nobility and passion, his habit of jumping into action with reckless abandon, his relentless sarcasm and his tendency to quote literature, and it pained her heart while seemingly soothing her soul to know that the Herondale attitude has somehow become hereditary? Perhaps her Will was no longer with her, but could she find solace in knowing that his mark had been left on Shadowhunters over 70 years after his death?
I’m emotional.
Cassandra Clare beautifully wove together stories set over a hundred years apart seamlessly. All of these connections allow for her world building to feel more complete. Everything coincides in perfect harmony. It’s absolutely magical.
Side note! Will gave Tessa a copy of A Tale of Two Cities with a note written inside the cover that he wrote after he learned that he was not cursed. Jace is actually reading this exact book in City of Lost Souls while under Sebastian’s control. Unfortunately, Clary destroys the apartment with a rune, meaning this precious book is gone forever.
Here’s a side note inside a side note. I loved how when Will was trying to properly court Tessa, she was just annoyed. She didn’t want a proper gentleman, she wanted the goofy, sarcastic, fun-loving Will that she fell in love with. Also, “Of course you can have a true Shadowhunter name. You can have mine.” is such a Herondale way to propose. It’s perfectly in character for Will to first be bullied by Jessamine about his relationship and then blurting out this statement in the heat of the moment. I loved it.
Conclusion
There’s certain books we read that stick with us forever.
I’ll never forget reading The Bad Beginning in third grade English class and realizing there doesn’t always have to be a happy ending. Books can hurt and that makes them even more beautiful.
I’ll always remember the first time I saw myself in a book while reading The Lightning Thief and the way Annabeth Chase made me feel like a hero when I was 12 years old. Fun fact, I even have a tattoo dedicated to this book.
I’m always thankful for how The Hunger Games and Twilight drug me into the world of fandoms. It was the cringiest phase of my life, but I’m so grateful that I experienced it and learned to be unapologetically myself.
I’ll always carry with me how To Kill a Mockingbird left me with lessons of injustice and the cost of doing what’s right for years after I closed the book.
I’ll never forget reading The Sherlockian and Longbourn in college and realizing the effect that literature has on the world is an endless cycle and that some people publish their elaborate fanfics.
Clockwork Princess is one of those books. It’s easily become one of my favorite books of all time. The lessons of love, sacrifice and loss will stick with me, along with the heartbreak that left my chest feeling hollow.
Overall, The Infernal Devices was an incredible series that was an exceptional addition to the world of Shadowhunters that Cassandra Clare created. TID was a little darker, more mature and a bit heavier of a story than its predecessor The Mortal Instruments. We didn’t get all the 2000s cringe (I grew up in that era. I know it well. I owned a pair of shutter shades with a mustache attached …) that I adored about TMI, but we got 19th century angst that was pure gold. I fell in love with so many of the characters and had my heart torn apart with each turn of the page. Even with a sub-par villain, Clare still managed a wonderful story full of pain and sorrow, alongside love and hope.
I think Clockwork Princess will be on my list of comfort books despite being anything but comforting. I’m still in pain. Five stars.
Bonus Quotes
Here’s all the quotes I loved but couldn’t find a way to work into the review. This book was full of amazing quotes, so I had to narrow it down to my favorites. Most of them made me cry while typing them.
Tessa, Page 104
“If I am immortal, then I have only this, this one life. I will not turn and change as you do, James. I will not see you in Heaven, or on the banks of the great river, or in whatever life lies beyond this one.”
“I knew you thought there to be some corruptive force about you that would break me. I meant to show you that I would not break, that love was not so fragile.”
Jem to Will, Page 112
“Jem has always given me exactly what I needed in the way that I needed it, even when I did not know myself what I required. All parabatai are devoted. We must be, to give so much of ourselves to each other, even if we gain strength by doing so. But with Jem it is different. For so many years I needed him to live, and he kept me alive. I thought he did not know that he was doing it, but maybe he did.”
Will, Page 113
“One girl, who is not Nephilim, is not, cannot, be our priority!”
“She is my priority!”
Consul Wayland & Will, Page 231
“You are as dear to me as another half of my soul, Jem. I could not be happy while you were unhappy. And Tessa — she loves you. What sort of awful monster would I be, delighting in causing the two people I love the most in the world agony simply that I might have the satisfaction of knowing that if Tessa could not be mine, she could not be anybody’s?”
Will to Jem, Page 245
“There are so many worse things than death. Not to be loved or not to be able to love: that is worse. And to go down fighting as a Shadowhunter should, there is no dishonor in that. An honorable death — I have always wanted that.”
Will to Tessa, Page 418
“Bright star. Those of you who are mortal, you burn so fiercely. And you fiercer than most, Will. I will not ever forget you.”
Magnus, Page 537
Life of Bry 
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